Holistic Centre for Body, Mind & Spirit

The Inner Child

All children are born to grow, to develop, to live, to love and to articulate their needs and feelings for their self-protection. For their development, children need the respect and protection of adults who take them seriously, love them, and honestly help them to become orientated in the world. Each child needs among other things: care, protection, security, warmth, skin contact, touching, caressing and tenderness.

When these vital needs are frustrated and children are, instead, abused for the sake of adults needs by being exploited, beaten, punished, taken advantage of, manipulated, neglected or deceived without the intervention of any witness, then their integrity will be lastingly impaired. The normal reactions to such injury should be anger and pain. However, since children in this hurtful kind of environment are often forbidden to express their anger, and since it would be unbearable to experience their pain alone, they are often compelled to suppress their feelings, repress all memory of the trauma and idealise those guilty of the abuse.

This is because a child expressing emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, depression and confusion can often experience ridicule, punishment or being shunned. Consequently, for survivals sake, these children need to learn to deny certain sets of feelings and in losing touch with their feelings, they lose touch with their true selves. Later these children will have no memory of what was done to them.

How this may relate to you

When areas within have gone unhealed and unheard they may show up in your outer life as problematic communications, anger issues, dysfunctional relationships, addictions or co-dependency. You may not even be aware that these defensive and self-defeating influences exist or that they are causing problems in your life, or how they are keeping you from the life you deserve and long for. However, these patterns and beliefs can be healed, allowing you to change your perspective and move you into a place of emotional and spiritual freedom.

Working creatively with the inner child

Expressive arts therapies are immensely powerful tools for embracing emotions as healers and guides. The arts are the language of feelings, dreams and all that is unconscious. If we want to find out which emotions have been hiding out in the body, the answers are as close as our hands. We can use art as a portal into the unconscious.

Non-verbal art therapy should not be confused with using the arts for fun or creativity.

You do not need to have any special skill or previous experience of the arts in order to benefit from arts therapies, and the aim is not to produce a wonderful work of art, but to use the art form to understand yourself better with the help of the therapist.

Arts therapists are skilled in whichever medium they use, and they will help you to express yourself by creating something. They will then help you make sense of what you have created in relation to your life experience and your state of mind.

Whatever you express is contained in the therapy room in a way that is safe; they will maintain professional boundaries, just as any therapist should, and act within the code of practice of their chosen therapy.

When you create you lose yourself in your creation. Time seems to stand still and all else is forgotten. You participate in the divine play that is creativity. The truth is that you are the Creative Self, expressing through the human vessel of your body, emotions, mind and soul.

Losing yourself in the divine embrace of the creative process, you disappear. Your ego or limited sense of separateness vanishes and you emerge into the vast ocean that is creativity. This is an altered state of intuitive awareness in which you renounce control from your head alone. Instead, you allow the Creative Self to flow through your heart, your body and your intuition.

And that vessel – physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual – can be shaped only through hard work and awareness. We must harmonise these four aspects of our being. For instance, the body and emotions need time to digest flashes of inspiration the soul and mind receive.

We are asked to relax and surrender to a higher order of creativity and allow the dream to materialise rather than force it. Anxiety and fear only block energy. Following the guided contemplation, non-verbal creative activities are used for more deeply exploring meaning in the pictures and phrases. As the visual right brain has its say (in art) and the verbal left brain gets to talk (through written work), both hemispheres of the brain are activated and integrated.

Working with both hands and both sides of the brain has proven itself for years to be a great way to make internal breakthroughs. It really moves people through those inner obstacles.

Source: www.alice-miller.com
Alice Miller

www.mind.org.uk
Mind, the Mental Health Charity

www.luciac.com
Lucia Capacchione

Get to know Sonia:

Sonia qualified as a Counsellor and Psychotherapist at Keele University. During her time at Keele she specialised in several distinct areas of study, one being the creative works and techniques of Lucia Capacchione in connection to the psychological theories relating to the inner child developed by Alice Miller and John Bradshaw. She then spent a further five years studying Psychosynthesis. She has studied continuously ever since. She has worked in a GP practice, for police and prison services, has supported youth and community projects, and also worked with both local and blue-chip companies, business leaders and government departments.

She has also developed many programmes of psychological support to help senior managers, directors and CEOs deal successfully with workplace issues and conflicts.

As a counsellor, psychospiritual psychotherapist and executive business coach she has taken countless clients – both individuals and couples – who have been suffering, stuck, confused or in crisis and helped them to reconnect with their true selves and rediscover what it is to be calm, confident and at peace.

Sonia says, "Although clients who come to me are often struggling profoundly, they have sensed an opportunity to rediscover themselves. For some, there is a clear need to take action, while for others they simply know deep down that something is not right but are unsure what steps to take.

"While it may be a difficult journey, the rewards are extraordinary. Individuals gain insights and a deeper wisdom that opens them up to a whole new reality where they are finally able to use new skills to realise their potential and purpose in all aspects of their lives."

She particularly relates to the following quotes...

“A new medicine is arising – one that embraces spirituality and consciousness as emphatically as conventional medicine has dismissed them.”
Larry Dossey
“Research is screaming at us with the urgent message that consciousness can harness the powerful healing forces of a quantum universe, forces far more potent than pills in a bottle.”
Norman Shealy and Dawson Church
“Man’s spiritual development is a long and arduous journey, an adventure through strange lands full of surprises, difficulties and even dangers. It involves a drastic transmutation of the ‘normal’ elements of the personality, an awakening of potentialities hitherto dormant, a raising of consciousness to new realms, and a functioning along a new inner dimension.”
Roberto Assagioli